I finally came around to updating my blog and I thought, heck, I'm gonna take this opportunity to talk about how 2016 has been as a year in general. All the glorious times spent and lessons learnt, most of which I'll hold dearly and implement in the many years to come.
Frankly speaking, it was a tough year but I learnt so much from it, and I would claim without any hesitation that 2016 has been an *amazing* year and despite all the hardships faced, I have grown incredibly as a person from them. So, this is my 2016 in all its raw glory.
Things 2016 taught me :-
1) The only person you owe an explanation to, is yourself. All my life I've always been worried about what people have to say, what they think, whether I would be accepted or not... and basically most of the time, I would spend my hours reflecting over pointless matters that I realised in the long run, don't hold any value. This thought actually hit me when a friend of mine told me, why do you have to be sorry for the things you do, why is it that you have seek justification for every action (s/o to my fam, bread! love you fam.) It struck hard, truth be told. I thought long & hard and realised, oh my fucking god, it doesn't get any more honest than that. I started doing things that I've always to and I realised I was so much more happier, so much more in sync with myself. I was finally in harmony with me, the person I want to be. Thing is, very often so, we don't sail out into new ventures because there's always the "but what would people say" factor holding us back. I say fuck that, you do YOU. Stop being apologetic for living your life based on how you want it. Stop seeking justification for your actions, you did it because you wanted to, not out of mere obligations.
2) Your mental health is AS important as your physical health. If I recall correctly, the first half of the year was a big buzz, I was going on about my daily life without any purpose and meaning, I did things not because I wanted to but because I had to. This took a really bad toll on my mental health, which I had been neglecting throughout the year. I desperately needed a break, but that too I kept depriving myself off of it. I finally came to terms with myself and realised I had hit rock bottom, I was so out of touch with myself, my family, friends and everything around me. I pushed so many people away this year because I thought I was just hurting them, that I'm just sucking them dry off their happiness... and I couldn't be more apologetic for that. That was when I decided that this has gone on for too long and that I really need to do something about myself. Hence, I started a quest. A quest to find myself and restore all those emotions I thought I was devoid of. One thing I learnt from this that I want to share with you guys is that, you can only be happy if you allow yourself to be. I've always thought I was a happy girl, someone who finds joy in the simple things life has to offer and make the most of it but 2016 made me realise that I was living on a lie. I took breaks when I needed them, got out of the house more often, got out of my comfort zone and most importantly, I reached out and put my feelings out there. I can't give enough thanks to my kuchens (Lsa, Yag & Jes), y'all have always been cheering for me from the frontline and just have been such amazing supportive friends, you guys make me want to be the best version of myself. Thank you for our explicit "no such thing as TMI in this group" wala friendship, I can't imagine how different 2016 would have been if y'all didnt play an active role in it. Thank you for being the best friends anyone could ask for, for putting wind in my sails! Reach out if you have to, don't neglect your mental health. If you feel awkward about opening up to people around you, there are actually so many online forums that you can visit as an anonymous person and open up without any hesitation. It is best not to suppress the bottled emotions and not deprive yourself from feelings that often go untold.
3) Find your ground. I don't think I can stress enough on this enough. There have been so many moments when I was just 'going with the flow', unsure of where the fuck exactly life was taking me and tho people romanticise that idea, it's so so so unhealthy. Find a purpose, start living for something and focus all your energy on being a better version of yourself. There have been too many late nights spent bawling my eyes out thinking what the fuck am I doing with my life, I needed to step out of this negative cycle. I started looking for motivation, things that interest me and to gain some perspective on life. I also started talking to people and that truly made me realise how expansive possibilities are, and that the only obstacle is your mindset.
4) Do not disrupt the course of nature, let life happen. Start living in the moment and try to bask in all of it's glory! Reality is malleable, it is what you allow it be. I was so fixated on getting done with the day that I forgot to appreciate the small little things that give us joy. I started implementing the idea of opening my eyes to all that surrounds me and to become a more aware individual. Truthfully? That has helped me heaps, because everything becomes more beautiful and amplified once you start paying attention to the little details. Don't try to rush life, let it take its course and while you're at it, get out there and immerse yourself in all that life has to offer.
5) I'm happiest when I'm growing. I actually got really inspired from a YouTube video I watched; The secret to happiness (Anna Akana) and it just was overwhelming how on point the video was. Being stagnant is actually really detrimental to your health; both mental and physical. Putting myself out there, learning new skills, talking to new people, making friends, getting out of my comfort zone or reading more makes me HAPPY. I broaden my mind and I am not constricted in the small box that is a societal construct. So I told myself... grow into the person you want to see yourself become. I am glad that I have been able to find ways to keep myself occupied and to slowly climb up the ladder of growth. Never stop yourself from venturing and exploring new ideas, do what you have to!
6) I am just in love with the idea of love. Throughout 2016, I've experimented and toyed with the perception of love I keep. I met some people who have left a lasting impression on me but I also met some people who I just let walk all over me and toy with my emotions time and again. I asked myself, how did I allow this to happen? Then it hit me after talking about this issue to a million friends and keeping it at the back of my mind. I am just, in love with the idea of love. Was I getting involved with people because it's pragmatic, because it's convenient or because I just needed validation? All of these thoughts kept bugging me and I finally realised that most of the time I was just so into the idea of being with someone whom I could play out all my necessities and construct scenarios about how perfect we would be as a couple, doing 'relationship goals' things. I was so consummated by that idea that too often I would overlook and ignore all his many negative attributes, not allowing myself to be with someone who actually helps me grow as a person. For now, I am just gonna let go of the idea that someday a guy will make me feel good about myself. Instead, I'll tell myself time and again that nobody is supposed to complete you. You are not a god damn puzzle set, if you are looking for a partner do not romanticise the annoying concept of how someone will bring you flowers and will save you from the evil witch who has locked you in a tower. PLANT YOUR OWN FLOWERS AND FALL BACK ON ALL THE SELF LOVE YOU HAVE GRAINED! Your flowers will bloom and you wouldn't have to ever look for the person who simply blindfolds you from being able to see the possibility that you can actually plant your own flowers and make your own garden. Be your own form of happiness, support and love.
Yet again, 2016 has been nothing short of amazing and to all of those people who have played an active role in my life, THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for never giving up on me and always placing faith in me. It's been a bumpy journey, with the countless ups and downs but this is what kept me alive, I'm growing... and I'm just so glad that I've been able to channel all the energy into things that I enjoy doing and make me happy.
I am so excited for what 2017 holds, I hope to be an even more motivated and happy person.
xo, Jyoti <3
Wednesday 4 January 2017
Saturday 30 July 2016
✧*。heart to heart talks // what is happiness? ✧*。
Ola~
Okay I know I have not blogged for the longest time ever but I really did not have anything solid to blog about and like I was really caught up with life, hence having neglected my blog for the longest time ever lol o my it has been almost a year since I last blogged?? I AM SO SORRY. Aaaand I guess today I wanna blog cause I'm finally getting into the ~mood~ and also cause it's been too damn long since I last wrote a post. Ehm, the topic I'm gonna be blogging about is something that has been stuck on my mind for quite some time, and I guess the best thing to get my thoughts out there would be through blogging it!
WHAT IS HAPPINESS, TO YOU?
I asked myself this question several times and there was never a time I had a definite answer. And I guess that's just how it is, happiness is not definite, it is just what you allow it to be. What you want for yourself. To be honest, this past month has been a huge blur and I have no idea what I'm doing. I have not been able to laugh openly and not feel a pang of void in my heart. Then it hit me, the fuck jyo you are not even letting yourself be happy, how could you possibly be happy?
There are times when I've found comfort in solitude and truly immerse in the fact that I am there for myself and I don't really need anyone else and there are also times when I've been in a group and still felt lonelier than I've ever been. And that's when I realised you do you, there are times when you just need to shut yourself away from the world, eat a tub of ice-cream on your own, binge-watch 5 series' at a go aaaaand ykno what? That is completely fine, so long as you find your peace of mind and you feel.. happy. You don't need validation from anyone else to set things right for yourself, you need your approval and your choices are truly what matters at the end of the day. I'll be listing 7 things that I find paramount on the pursuit of happiness.
1) Don't justify your actions. If there is ever a time you have been made to take a rational but difficult decision, don't seek justification for it. There are times when you are put in the face of adversity and made to choose between the evidently right and the wrong but it might not coincide with everyone's opinion. Do what you think is right; follow your heart but take your mind with you. The more you find yourself trying to explain yourself, the harder it will be for you to settle into your decision hence leaving you feeling like total shite and it honestly just affects you more than you realise because you are agreeing to something against your will. Hence, do what you think is right but at the same time think whether it will have negative outcomes. Don't do something that you don't feel good about just because everyone else is doing it.
2) Mindset. I think after all this time, this is one point I can really concur with. Your day starts off good if your mindset towards it is good. If you wake up one morning and you tell yourself awwww yissss I'm gonna have a fucking good day, chances are, you probably will. Only when you allow yourself to be happy, will you truly experience what it truly means to be freely happy. Go out and have the best day of your life~
3) Priorities. If you ever find yourself not receiving not enough time from your friends, it is completely fine. They too have their priorities and things to tend to, as much they like it or not. But this point really started applying once I started realising that we are growing up, we are no longer the same teens with a shitload of time on our hands. We have our assignments to look after, school, family and other relationships to tend to. So, if you have friends who aren't giving you as much time as you would like, try putting yourself in their shoes and question whether you too would be able to balance all the responsibilities. And I also came to light that if you have friends that every once in a while check up on you despite how busy they are and how much distance there is between you guys, just know you're blessed. Don't stress over friendships because those that stay till the end through thick and thin are really the ones you need.
4) Don't wait on other people. If you constantly find yourself waiting on other people, move the fuck on. If the person equally treated you with the same feelings, he/she would not ever make you feel like you are asking for more than you deserve. If you ever find yourself stuck in a situation where you are always the one taking the initiative for everything and always being more committed than the other party, there is obviously something wrong between the relationship shared. Don't keep giving out your hand when the person is not even willing to take it. Move on and realise you deserve better treatment. Once you let go of such toxic people from your life, will you find yourself feeling less obligated to do things that actually is required of you. Your happiness is not affirmed by the amount of affection someone gives you. Be your own cinnamon roll :+)
5) Happiness is fucking important. The day you start to realise that petty temporary shit isn't as important as you think it is, is the day you will allow yourself redemption. We are all part of something larger than ourselves and truthfully this period of time you're facing right now is probably just a fleeting phase. This too shall pass. Allow happiness to come crushing into your life, open your doors to better possibilities. Be there for yourself and be your own form of contentment. At the end of the day, you'll be the only person there for yourself, like it or not, so start doing things that make you happy and not things that you don't even have your heart set into. Take yourself out on dates, eat a whole pizza on your own, go for walks, sit under the stars and start appreciating your own company.
6) Forgive people. Sometimes, shit happens whether it was a mistake or simply done by choice. And, holding a grudge is only gonna make you more miserable and full of spite. Let shit go, forgive people but don't forget. In the bigger picture, you will definitely be the person who is sensible enough to understand that yea sometimes, people disappoint us but heck, this is life, you can't always expect people to go by your rules. Live a little. Sometimes you just gotta say "fuck it" and move on with life. There are better things and opportunities waiting for you in life.
7) The right kind of people. This is probably one of the most important points. Surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person, the kind of people who encourage you, complement you as a person and make you see your strengths, ones that you didn't even know about. Live for the people who make your stomach ache from laughing so bad, for the kind of people who are not embarrassed by your silly antics and weird sense of humour, the kind of people who are always down for whatever you say, the kind of people who give you a happy buzz in your stomach after you've spent the day with them. Life is too short for you to be surrounded by negative people who don't even see the fucking gem you are! Expand your social circle and mingle with people, enough to see that yea there are people out there who genuinely like me for the person I am. The right kind of people are those that bring out the best in you, who make you see the silver lining in the dark clouds. And if you're lucky enough to have such people in your life, embrace them and remind yourself how fucking lucky you are. The kind of company you keep is extremely essential upon the way you look at things and the way you perceive life as a whole. Positive vibezzz all the way!
I guess that is pretty much it for today's post and heck, truth be told, now that I'm done with this blogpost I can honestly say that I truly know what I can expect from life now. It gets hard sometimes but every so often you need to be reminded about the better things in life and how to pursue them. I didn't write this blog post with the intention of changing one's perspective of things but I really do hope I managed to spark something or even come up with a revelation. Thank you for sticking around and hearing me out :+) x
ALSO, I turned 18! (like 1 and a half months ago) wooopie lolz I'm legally an adult. I think other than that not much significant things have occurred in my life, oh and also, my AS level results are coming out in 11 days and I'm shitting my pants lmao, fingers crosssssssed I don't wanna be kicked out of my house just yet ;___;
And and, I'm gonna try my best to be consistent as hell with my blog posts, I know I always say this but I really do like blogging but it's just that I don't really have things to blog about cuz my life wouldn't exactly be defined as "exciting" & "happening" buuuuut if you guys want me to blog about any particular topic, feel free to drop a suggestion on my ask! (ask.fm/purrger) :) Thank you once again for sticking around, muacks!
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
Okay I know I have not blogged for the longest time ever but I really did not have anything solid to blog about and like I was really caught up with life, hence having neglected my blog for the longest time ever lol o my it has been almost a year since I last blogged?? I AM SO SORRY. Aaaand I guess today I wanna blog cause I'm finally getting into the ~mood~ and also cause it's been too damn long since I last wrote a post. Ehm, the topic I'm gonna be blogging about is something that has been stuck on my mind for quite some time, and I guess the best thing to get my thoughts out there would be through blogging it!
WHAT IS HAPPINESS, TO YOU?
I asked myself this question several times and there was never a time I had a definite answer. And I guess that's just how it is, happiness is not definite, it is just what you allow it to be. What you want for yourself. To be honest, this past month has been a huge blur and I have no idea what I'm doing. I have not been able to laugh openly and not feel a pang of void in my heart. Then it hit me, the fuck jyo you are not even letting yourself be happy, how could you possibly be happy?
There are times when I've found comfort in solitude and truly immerse in the fact that I am there for myself and I don't really need anyone else and there are also times when I've been in a group and still felt lonelier than I've ever been. And that's when I realised you do you, there are times when you just need to shut yourself away from the world, eat a tub of ice-cream on your own, binge-watch 5 series' at a go aaaaand ykno what? That is completely fine, so long as you find your peace of mind and you feel.. happy. You don't need validation from anyone else to set things right for yourself, you need your approval and your choices are truly what matters at the end of the day. I'll be listing 7 things that I find paramount on the pursuit of happiness.
1) Don't justify your actions. If there is ever a time you have been made to take a rational but difficult decision, don't seek justification for it. There are times when you are put in the face of adversity and made to choose between the evidently right and the wrong but it might not coincide with everyone's opinion. Do what you think is right; follow your heart but take your mind with you. The more you find yourself trying to explain yourself, the harder it will be for you to settle into your decision hence leaving you feeling like total shite and it honestly just affects you more than you realise because you are agreeing to something against your will. Hence, do what you think is right but at the same time think whether it will have negative outcomes. Don't do something that you don't feel good about just because everyone else is doing it.
2) Mindset. I think after all this time, this is one point I can really concur with. Your day starts off good if your mindset towards it is good. If you wake up one morning and you tell yourself awwww yissss I'm gonna have a fucking good day, chances are, you probably will. Only when you allow yourself to be happy, will you truly experience what it truly means to be freely happy. Go out and have the best day of your life~
3) Priorities. If you ever find yourself not receiving not enough time from your friends, it is completely fine. They too have their priorities and things to tend to, as much they like it or not. But this point really started applying once I started realising that we are growing up, we are no longer the same teens with a shitload of time on our hands. We have our assignments to look after, school, family and other relationships to tend to. So, if you have friends who aren't giving you as much time as you would like, try putting yourself in their shoes and question whether you too would be able to balance all the responsibilities. And I also came to light that if you have friends that every once in a while check up on you despite how busy they are and how much distance there is between you guys, just know you're blessed. Don't stress over friendships because those that stay till the end through thick and thin are really the ones you need.
4) Don't wait on other people. If you constantly find yourself waiting on other people, move the fuck on. If the person equally treated you with the same feelings, he/she would not ever make you feel like you are asking for more than you deserve. If you ever find yourself stuck in a situation where you are always the one taking the initiative for everything and always being more committed than the other party, there is obviously something wrong between the relationship shared. Don't keep giving out your hand when the person is not even willing to take it. Move on and realise you deserve better treatment. Once you let go of such toxic people from your life, will you find yourself feeling less obligated to do things that actually is required of you. Your happiness is not affirmed by the amount of affection someone gives you. Be your own cinnamon roll :+)
5) Happiness is fucking important. The day you start to realise that petty temporary shit isn't as important as you think it is, is the day you will allow yourself redemption. We are all part of something larger than ourselves and truthfully this period of time you're facing right now is probably just a fleeting phase. This too shall pass. Allow happiness to come crushing into your life, open your doors to better possibilities. Be there for yourself and be your own form of contentment. At the end of the day, you'll be the only person there for yourself, like it or not, so start doing things that make you happy and not things that you don't even have your heart set into. Take yourself out on dates, eat a whole pizza on your own, go for walks, sit under the stars and start appreciating your own company.
6) Forgive people. Sometimes, shit happens whether it was a mistake or simply done by choice. And, holding a grudge is only gonna make you more miserable and full of spite. Let shit go, forgive people but don't forget. In the bigger picture, you will definitely be the person who is sensible enough to understand that yea sometimes, people disappoint us but heck, this is life, you can't always expect people to go by your rules. Live a little. Sometimes you just gotta say "fuck it" and move on with life. There are better things and opportunities waiting for you in life.
7) The right kind of people. This is probably one of the most important points. Surround yourself with people who make you want to be a better person, the kind of people who encourage you, complement you as a person and make you see your strengths, ones that you didn't even know about. Live for the people who make your stomach ache from laughing so bad, for the kind of people who are not embarrassed by your silly antics and weird sense of humour, the kind of people who are always down for whatever you say, the kind of people who give you a happy buzz in your stomach after you've spent the day with them. Life is too short for you to be surrounded by negative people who don't even see the fucking gem you are! Expand your social circle and mingle with people, enough to see that yea there are people out there who genuinely like me for the person I am. The right kind of people are those that bring out the best in you, who make you see the silver lining in the dark clouds. And if you're lucky enough to have such people in your life, embrace them and remind yourself how fucking lucky you are. The kind of company you keep is extremely essential upon the way you look at things and the way you perceive life as a whole. Positive vibezzz all the way!
I guess that is pretty much it for today's post and heck, truth be told, now that I'm done with this blogpost I can honestly say that I truly know what I can expect from life now. It gets hard sometimes but every so often you need to be reminded about the better things in life and how to pursue them. I didn't write this blog post with the intention of changing one's perspective of things but I really do hope I managed to spark something or even come up with a revelation. Thank you for sticking around and hearing me out :+) x
ALSO, I turned 18! (like 1 and a half months ago) wooopie lolz I'm legally an adult. I think other than that not much significant things have occurred in my life, oh and also, my AS level results are coming out in 11 days and I'm shitting my pants lmao, fingers crosssssssed I don't wanna be kicked out of my house just yet ;___;
And and, I'm gonna try my best to be consistent as hell with my blog posts, I know I always say this but I really do like blogging but it's just that I don't really have things to blog about cuz my life wouldn't exactly be defined as "exciting" & "happening" buuuuut if you guys want me to blog about any particular topic, feel free to drop a suggestion on my ask! (ask.fm/purrger) :) Thank you once again for sticking around, muacks!
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
Saturday 1 August 2015
✧*。heart to heart talks // self love and it's importance ✧*。
Hey hey!! Sorry I've delayed my blog update, just been really busy with all that's happening. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to compose a blog post but heeeeere I am now :-)
Anyways I'm home for the weekend and I don't wanna go back to college *unnecessarily long groan*
Over the past 2 months, I've realised two things :-
1)College makes me depressed.
2)The thought of college depresses me even more.
I just miss Secondary School and all my friends back in Singapore so much, *sobs*. It's funny because I used to think O levels were the toughest obstacle I would ever overcome, but wey hey, A levels.
Anyways, all that aside, I will be blogging about something that has always been a significant problem in my life, self love. Just a disclaimer tho, I don't expect anyone to start loving themselves immediately after having read this post, this is just my opinion and what I have to say regarding the matter :)
This is such a large topic, I don't even know where to begin!! Hmmmm let's see. Right.
Self love is something that happens gradually, it doesn't happen overnight. Tell yourself you're worth it every morning the minute you wake up and soon enough you'll believe it, I promise. You're worth all the gems in the world, flowers smile when you walk by and the winds whisper of your beauty :)
We all struggle with issues regarding our appearances, I too am guilty of constantly finding myself in the dark company of self doubt. But, I slowly have managed to convince myself that I am worthy of love and all things happy, just like anyone else is. It took me a long while to get here but my morale is somehow always broken down by people who say things like "You would be so pretty if you lost weight" or "Why don't you want to lose weight"
NEWS FLASH: ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
It really irks me to know that people are so constrained by societal expectations that they don't even bother to glance again at things and give it a second thought. I am not defined by what you think of me, I never will be. We are all sculpted differently and just because our appearances don't coincide with society's perception of beauty, doesn't make us any less worthy or beautiful.
Everyone has their own perceptions of beauty and that's not a crime, it's simply having a 'type', but I need to reiterate that what others think of you/expect you to be doesn't define you. Personally speaking, I've managed to convince myself I'm beautiful, this took me a lot of conviction but heck, I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life, no point holding a grudge against myself for being ugly!! However, with that being said, there are also days when I can't bring myself to look at my reflection because I hate what I see, almost making me want to break every mirror in sight. But, if you can't love your own appearance, how do you expect others to?
As the saying goes, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line."
-Lucille Ball.
And even if others can't/don't see the beauty you possess, it's completely fine because you can fall back on the self love you have managed to grain for yourself. Remember, being worthy? :)
And honestly, think about it, there is literally only one of you out there, sure there are people who may share similar features but ultimately, there is only one You, the one with a beautiful soul and a very unique chain of thoughts, Like I said previously, we are all sculpted differently; we're all special in our own ways, so don't you dare think for a second that you're insignificant or think that you aren't worthy of love, We all are worthy. I can't reiterate this enough, just because there are people who are more aesthetically inclined out there, it doesn't falter our worthiness (well unless you're a serial killer, rapist or a Dictator committing genocide by the masses... in that case, screw you) (what are the odds, though?). With that being said, I need to get this message across, stop romanticising being skinny. In fact, stop romanticising any body shapes. Calling out someone for being fat is the same thing as calling someone out for being skinny. You're merely describing their body type. Happiness isn't size specific, there's no saying out there that once you reach a certain weight, will you then attain eternal happiness. Remember, there is no wrong way to have a body, love your body for the things it can do not scrutinise it for the things that you don't want present; flaws are inevitable. However, if someone uses your body type against you to bring you down, please don't hesitate to punch them... or shut them out (the former is the better idea, no doubt) but in all honesty, you don't need this kind of negativity!! Someone out there will always be better, so don't take it upon yourself to make sure you fulfill all aspects of a 'perfect human being'. As cliche as it sounds, nobody is perfect.
And not just body types; having scars, cellulite and stretch marks are things that are way beyond your control and something that's inevitable/natural!! You don't have to torment and blame yourself for it being on your body because I assure you, it is completely normal and fine to have these battle scars. Take pride in your body, love your body, so that nobody can use it against you. The main reason why self love is so darn important is because it teaches you that at the end of the day, we're all dying alone (heck). You can't take someone to your grave just because you want to hear them sing praises of you. Sing your own praises, smile at the mirror, tell yourself you look amazing. You only have you, for all of your life. The bitter truth is that everyone else is temporary. Only when you learn to depend on yourself for reassurance of your outer appearance, will you then realise why self love is important. You have you, just you. Don't sit back and wait for someone to tell you that the skirt you're wearing really brings out your skin tone, or that, the eyeshadow you've got on really enhances your eyes. Start noticing little details about yourself and revel at how they beautifully add up to make you, you. You're a diamond in the rough that just needs a little polishing from within, only then will you see how exuberant and luminous your beauty is, be it from within or from your outer appearance.
I'd like to end this with a quote I came across on the internet.
""To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven." You live with yourself day in and day out for your entire life. Can you make being in your own skin a joy rather than misery? You can if you focus on living in the moment and enjoy all the good things your body has to offer, rather than worrying about it's imperfections."
Like I said, I didn't come here with the intention of getting people to immediately start loving themselves, but I do hope this short blog post based on my opinions of self love has sparked something within you, be it one that's big or small. :) Self love is a gradual and long process, but one that is definitely worth it. All the best for whatever life throws towards your direction, I believe you'll overcome it :+)
That's about it for this blog post, thank you for having taken the time to read it!! Hope you have a beautiful glorious day ahead <3 Also if you have any feedback/problem/recommendatiins regarding my post, feel free to leave me an ask on my ask.fm, ask.fm/purrger :)
Anyways I'm home for the weekend and I don't wanna go back to college *unnecessarily long groan*
Over the past 2 months, I've realised two things :-
1)College makes me depressed.
2)The thought of college depresses me even more.
I just miss Secondary School and all my friends back in Singapore so much, *sobs*. It's funny because I used to think O levels were the toughest obstacle I would ever overcome, but wey hey, A levels.
Anyways, all that aside, I will be blogging about something that has always been a significant problem in my life, self love. Just a disclaimer tho, I don't expect anyone to start loving themselves immediately after having read this post, this is just my opinion and what I have to say regarding the matter :)
This is such a large topic, I don't even know where to begin!! Hmmmm let's see. Right.
Self love is something that happens gradually, it doesn't happen overnight. Tell yourself you're worth it every morning the minute you wake up and soon enough you'll believe it, I promise. You're worth all the gems in the world, flowers smile when you walk by and the winds whisper of your beauty :)
We all struggle with issues regarding our appearances, I too am guilty of constantly finding myself in the dark company of self doubt. But, I slowly have managed to convince myself that I am worthy of love and all things happy, just like anyone else is. It took me a long while to get here but my morale is somehow always broken down by people who say things like "You would be so pretty if you lost weight" or "Why don't you want to lose weight"
NEWS FLASH: ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
It really irks me to know that people are so constrained by societal expectations that they don't even bother to glance again at things and give it a second thought. I am not defined by what you think of me, I never will be. We are all sculpted differently and just because our appearances don't coincide with society's perception of beauty, doesn't make us any less worthy or beautiful.
Everyone has their own perceptions of beauty and that's not a crime, it's simply having a 'type', but I need to reiterate that what others think of you/expect you to be doesn't define you. Personally speaking, I've managed to convince myself I'm beautiful, this took me a lot of conviction but heck, I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life, no point holding a grudge against myself for being ugly!! However, with that being said, there are also days when I can't bring myself to look at my reflection because I hate what I see, almost making me want to break every mirror in sight. But, if you can't love your own appearance, how do you expect others to?
As the saying goes, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line."
-Lucille Ball.
And even if others can't/don't see the beauty you possess, it's completely fine because you can fall back on the self love you have managed to grain for yourself. Remember, being worthy? :)
And honestly, think about it, there is literally only one of you out there, sure there are people who may share similar features but ultimately, there is only one You, the one with a beautiful soul and a very unique chain of thoughts, Like I said previously, we are all sculpted differently; we're all special in our own ways, so don't you dare think for a second that you're insignificant or think that you aren't worthy of love, We all are worthy. I can't reiterate this enough, just because there are people who are more aesthetically inclined out there, it doesn't falter our worthiness (well unless you're a serial killer, rapist or a Dictator committing genocide by the masses... in that case, screw you) (what are the odds, though?). With that being said, I need to get this message across, stop romanticising being skinny. In fact, stop romanticising any body shapes. Calling out someone for being fat is the same thing as calling someone out for being skinny. You're merely describing their body type. Happiness isn't size specific, there's no saying out there that once you reach a certain weight, will you then attain eternal happiness. Remember, there is no wrong way to have a body, love your body for the things it can do not scrutinise it for the things that you don't want present; flaws are inevitable. However, if someone uses your body type against you to bring you down, please don't hesitate to punch them... or shut them out (the former is the better idea, no doubt) but in all honesty, you don't need this kind of negativity!! Someone out there will always be better, so don't take it upon yourself to make sure you fulfill all aspects of a 'perfect human being'. As cliche as it sounds, nobody is perfect.
And not just body types; having scars, cellulite and stretch marks are things that are way beyond your control and something that's inevitable/natural!! You don't have to torment and blame yourself for it being on your body because I assure you, it is completely normal and fine to have these battle scars. Take pride in your body, love your body, so that nobody can use it against you. The main reason why self love is so darn important is because it teaches you that at the end of the day, we're all dying alone (heck). You can't take someone to your grave just because you want to hear them sing praises of you. Sing your own praises, smile at the mirror, tell yourself you look amazing. You only have you, for all of your life. The bitter truth is that everyone else is temporary. Only when you learn to depend on yourself for reassurance of your outer appearance, will you then realise why self love is important. You have you, just you. Don't sit back and wait for someone to tell you that the skirt you're wearing really brings out your skin tone, or that, the eyeshadow you've got on really enhances your eyes. Start noticing little details about yourself and revel at how they beautifully add up to make you, you. You're a diamond in the rough that just needs a little polishing from within, only then will you see how exuberant and luminous your beauty is, be it from within or from your outer appearance.
I'd like to end this with a quote I came across on the internet.
""To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven." You live with yourself day in and day out for your entire life. Can you make being in your own skin a joy rather than misery? You can if you focus on living in the moment and enjoy all the good things your body has to offer, rather than worrying about it's imperfections."
Like I said, I didn't come here with the intention of getting people to immediately start loving themselves, but I do hope this short blog post based on my opinions of self love has sparked something within you, be it one that's big or small. :) Self love is a gradual and long process, but one that is definitely worth it. All the best for whatever life throws towards your direction, I believe you'll overcome it :+)
That's about it for this blog post, thank you for having taken the time to read it!! Hope you have a beautiful glorious day ahead <3 Also if you have any feedback/problem/recommendatiins regarding my post, feel free to leave me an ask on my ask.fm, ask.fm/purrger :)
Saturday 27 June 2015
✧*。heart to heart talks / Growing up ✧*。
Hello!! I've neglected my blog for way too long, commitment issues :-(
A lot of things have happened in my life, but I wanna talk about some rather important topics that I think I need to reiterate, and get the message out there. I know I'm not a famous blogger and my blog trafficking isn't even high to begin with, but for those of you reading this.. I hope I can be of some help :+)
Oh and... and a shit ton of things has happened in my life, thought I'd mention it;
-Survived two frikkin earthquakes, this honestly made me realise how precious my life is, Not that I didn't value my life before this, but I guess I took it for granted, didn't realise how lucky I am to be waking up everyday to food on my plate, a roof over my head and people I can rely on. So much more to life... so many places to travel to, people to meet, cultures to experience! Life is so, precious.
-I started college! College girl hahah, beats me really. I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to slack like how I did in Secondary School (tho i gotta admit, I had a great time, well not my lower sec years but my upper sec years were GLORIOUS) So, yes, hopefully my effort is consistent and it can be seen in my A level results, I really want to get my ass in a reputable college into a course I am passionate about :-)
-I turned 17! I hate birthdays.
Okay yea, back to the main purpose of this blogpost. Turning 17, I realised that with every passing year, I learn a few things that will go a long way, to mould me into the person I'm meant to be.
Here are 10 things I learnt when I turned 17 (I was actually inspired by a tumblr post but hear me out anyway)
1)Stop romanticising love. It can wait. You will meet the person you are gonna spend the rest of your life with in time to come, there is absoloutely no need to rush it. Don't get into a relationship with someone just because you like them, ask yourself, is this person the one who will be supporting me when I have no one to turn to, who will share every joy and celebrate with me, tell me off when I'm acting rashly. A healthy relationship is one where both of you learn from previous mistakes, and work on it, one where you work with mutual trust and understanding. If at any point, you feel like you're in a relationship where you're consistently being hurt, leave. Trust me on this, if he/she has done it once, they're very well able to do it again. You have your rights to happiness, and if that person fails to make you happy, what's the point of holding onto it when it only hurts you? Be with someone who complements you, someone who makes you a better person, both emotionally and spiritually.
Give it time, don't rush things.
2)Train your mind to see the good in every situation. Often enough we find ourselves lacking in certain aspects, yes we all have those days and.. it is completely fine! I just want you to remember that all of us have a purpose. Put your hand over your heart, feel that? That's purpose. You are alive and able. Think of things you are blessed with, not what you have yet to receive. Today you are alive, have food on your plate and a roof over your head. There are people out there who aren't even lucky enough to have that and yet they live, because they train their mind to see the good in every situation. I myself am guilty for taking those privileges for granted, but only when you realise the importance of it, is when you truly realise its worth. Like they say, after every hurricane, there comes a rainbow.
And, every cloud has its silver lining. Have faith in what destiny has in store for you.
3)Don't ask a person why he/she is depressed. That is just downright offensive. And you can't tell someone to "snap out" of their depression. Things don't work that way. Recovery is a long process and it doesn't happen overnight. If you want to help a friend who is undergoing depression, be there with them every step of the way. Check on them consistently, if they need to talk to someone, hear them out, that episode of OITNB can wait. It won't ease their discomfort completely but it will reassure them that someone is willing to listen. Environment is everything, make them laugh till their stomach aches, be 'that' person; make them want to get out of the bed every morning and conquer the day :-) Commend them for getting out of bed, commend them for the steps they take towards recovery, even if they are small baby steps. Things never actually get better, in fact, you do, as a person.
4)Friends who give you feedback, keep them. We all have that one friend that does crazy absurd shit which bothers people. Most of the time, their actions are unintended and they probably don't even realise that people are being affected in the process. Tell them they need to stop, how they can work on the problem or how they can change. Remember that most of the time, it is unintended and they have absoloutely no idea they're hurting people, but when you tell them otherwise, you are allowing the person a chance to work on things they unintentionally broke. (idk if broke is an appropriate word, i hope u get my drift) If they are willing to take the feedback and work on becoming a better person, good on them! Good on you for taking the courage for telling them so! It can be hard, I understand. But if they are unable to see their faults and only want to pity themselves for being seen in a negative manner, leave them, They aren't worth it. They will learn things the hard way.
Also, if you encounter people who give *you* feedback, realise they're honest, which is a commendable quality, one every friend should have. Cherish that person, your future self will thank you.
5)Eat that damn cake. It is alright to indulge once in a while, so long as you're giving yourself balance. You scored full marks for that test? Gdi, treat yourself!! You deserve it. Don't tax yourself too much, it's completely fine to let go once in a while, just, remember your roots and purpose :-) Remember that there is only one of you, just like how important physical health is, mental health is JUST AS important!
6)Don't bitch about your parent(s) on social media. Yea I know we've all been there, in the heat of fury we often lash out on social media. I myself am guilty of it. But have you ever thought what others may think? Your words are a representation of the person you are. When you scroll through your twitter account days later and read those tweets you tweeted in the heat of the moment, you will only feel embarrassed for yourself. If you really do need to rant, rant to a friend, someone who is able to emphatise. There is nothing to be embarrassed of, it's normal, trust me.
7)Your secondary school years aren't the best years of your life. But I can assure you that you will meet a lot of people who you know you will be seeing a lot in the future. You will even find some of your best friends during this phase of your life. The best years of your life will be when you're doing what you love, chasing your dreams and living the life you imagined for yourself. Also, study for your O levels, please. Consistency is key. You get a freaking 6 month holiday after your Os, you have ALL the time to watch the dramas you want, play all the games you want to and eat at all the places you want to. But for now, just put in all that you have got, study your ass off. Your future self will thank you. And oh, stop ranting about the education system on social media, doing that won't get you an A. Spend that time studying instead. Also, on the last day of school, when you graduate, wreck shit and create havoc, that's the only chance you have.
8)Spend time with your mum. Go out on dates with her, talk to her about things you initially thought you never would. It may seem a little silly, at our age especially, but hey! she's your mother, the only person who knows you better than you yourself do. Your mother loves you, even despite you consistently hurting her, be it unintentionally or intentionally! My own mum and I share a very tight bond, even tho we quarrel over little petty stuff, I know she will never hold a grudge against me, and if she does display anger on me, it is because she wants me to be a better person. Devote some time from your day just so you can talk to her, tell her how school went, or what your day was like. She'll enjoy hearing it :-) And if you don't have a motherly figure in your life, do any of the previously mentioned with a person who you know cares for you <3
9)Don't be preachy. I have nothing against religion, but I'll tell you what I am against, people who push religion down someone's throat. We all have our own beliefs, whether we were born into it or if it was by choice. Sure, you may have great pride in your religion, and I think that's alright, but you are crossing the line when you start to police someone's actions and regard it as going against your religion. Heck, you do you. If you want to believe that there is a greater power, by all means, you are entitled to it. But leave someone alone just because they don't have the same opinion. There's this quote actually.. "Religion is like a penis, It's fine to have to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And please, don't try to shove it down my child's throat. (or in this context, anyone's throat)"
I was born into a Hindu family but my family practices the Kiranti religion (google it!), and since I was brought up in Singapore, I didn't have much knowledge on it due to the lack of awareness, so I guess I could say I'm not a very religious person, tho I do respect every religion and it's beliefs. And even despite me not being uber religious, I think I turned out alright?? I mean yea my laughter is obnoxious and I like watching children cry, but I can assure you that my thoughts are pure and my heart is kind. Religion doesn't define a person :-)
(I hope I didn't offend anyone with this point, I had no such intention!)
10)Love whoever you want, gdi. This may seem like I'm contradicting point 1, but I'm not! If you find yourself being part of the LGBTQ family, it is, completely!! fine!!
A person is born homosexual, it isn't something that can be nurtured, contrary to popular opinion. In fact, it is backed up by science. Homosexuality is natural, and it can't be nurtured. Like heck, do you think someone goes "Today I'm gonna be straight. FOOTBALL,"(sorry for the stereotype) or "Today I'm gonna be gay. CUTE BOYS."
OH My GOD THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!! I'll tell you what can be nurtured tho, homophobia. A person doesn't have a choice when it comes to gender preference, but they most definitely do have a choice on being a judgemental little cunt. Or, if your religion doesn't allow it and you don't wanna go against your religion by supporting it, that is fine. But remember to stay neutral. HOMOPHOBIA IS LITERALLY SO STUPID, like bitch, you're telling me you have a phobia of gay people? They are literally like you and I, human. Someone who deserves equal humanitarian rights, just like any of us. Remember guys, #LoveWins !!!
Sigh, that's about it for tonight, this blogpost took me a long while but I hope I was able to make an impression, or maybe even ignite change :-) If you are against any of my points, feel free to leave constructive criticism on my ask.fm! (ask.fm/purrger)
and once again, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I am sorry.
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
A lot of things have happened in my life, but I wanna talk about some rather important topics that I think I need to reiterate, and get the message out there. I know I'm not a famous blogger and my blog trafficking isn't even high to begin with, but for those of you reading this.. I hope I can be of some help :+)
Oh and... and a shit ton of things has happened in my life, thought I'd mention it;
-Survived two frikkin earthquakes, this honestly made me realise how precious my life is, Not that I didn't value my life before this, but I guess I took it for granted, didn't realise how lucky I am to be waking up everyday to food on my plate, a roof over my head and people I can rely on. So much more to life... so many places to travel to, people to meet, cultures to experience! Life is so, precious.
-I started college! College girl hahah, beats me really. I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to slack like how I did in Secondary School (tho i gotta admit, I had a great time, well not my lower sec years but my upper sec years were GLORIOUS) So, yes, hopefully my effort is consistent and it can be seen in my A level results, I really want to get my ass in a reputable college into a course I am passionate about :-)
-I turned 17! I hate birthdays.
Okay yea, back to the main purpose of this blogpost. Turning 17, I realised that with every passing year, I learn a few things that will go a long way, to mould me into the person I'm meant to be.
Here are 10 things I learnt when I turned 17 (I was actually inspired by a tumblr post but hear me out anyway)
1)Stop romanticising love. It can wait. You will meet the person you are gonna spend the rest of your life with in time to come, there is absoloutely no need to rush it. Don't get into a relationship with someone just because you like them, ask yourself, is this person the one who will be supporting me when I have no one to turn to, who will share every joy and celebrate with me, tell me off when I'm acting rashly. A healthy relationship is one where both of you learn from previous mistakes, and work on it, one where you work with mutual trust and understanding. If at any point, you feel like you're in a relationship where you're consistently being hurt, leave. Trust me on this, if he/she has done it once, they're very well able to do it again. You have your rights to happiness, and if that person fails to make you happy, what's the point of holding onto it when it only hurts you? Be with someone who complements you, someone who makes you a better person, both emotionally and spiritually.
Give it time, don't rush things.
2)Train your mind to see the good in every situation. Often enough we find ourselves lacking in certain aspects, yes we all have those days and.. it is completely fine! I just want you to remember that all of us have a purpose. Put your hand over your heart, feel that? That's purpose. You are alive and able. Think of things you are blessed with, not what you have yet to receive. Today you are alive, have food on your plate and a roof over your head. There are people out there who aren't even lucky enough to have that and yet they live, because they train their mind to see the good in every situation. I myself am guilty for taking those privileges for granted, but only when you realise the importance of it, is when you truly realise its worth. Like they say, after every hurricane, there comes a rainbow.
And, every cloud has its silver lining. Have faith in what destiny has in store for you.
3)Don't ask a person why he/she is depressed. That is just downright offensive. And you can't tell someone to "snap out" of their depression. Things don't work that way. Recovery is a long process and it doesn't happen overnight. If you want to help a friend who is undergoing depression, be there with them every step of the way. Check on them consistently, if they need to talk to someone, hear them out, that episode of OITNB can wait. It won't ease their discomfort completely but it will reassure them that someone is willing to listen. Environment is everything, make them laugh till their stomach aches, be 'that' person; make them want to get out of the bed every morning and conquer the day :-) Commend them for getting out of bed, commend them for the steps they take towards recovery, even if they are small baby steps. Things never actually get better, in fact, you do, as a person.
4)Friends who give you feedback, keep them. We all have that one friend that does crazy absurd shit which bothers people. Most of the time, their actions are unintended and they probably don't even realise that people are being affected in the process. Tell them they need to stop, how they can work on the problem or how they can change. Remember that most of the time, it is unintended and they have absoloutely no idea they're hurting people, but when you tell them otherwise, you are allowing the person a chance to work on things they unintentionally broke. (idk if broke is an appropriate word, i hope u get my drift) If they are willing to take the feedback and work on becoming a better person, good on them! Good on you for taking the courage for telling them so! It can be hard, I understand. But if they are unable to see their faults and only want to pity themselves for being seen in a negative manner, leave them, They aren't worth it. They will learn things the hard way.
Also, if you encounter people who give *you* feedback, realise they're honest, which is a commendable quality, one every friend should have. Cherish that person, your future self will thank you.
5)Eat that damn cake. It is alright to indulge once in a while, so long as you're giving yourself balance. You scored full marks for that test? Gdi, treat yourself!! You deserve it. Don't tax yourself too much, it's completely fine to let go once in a while, just, remember your roots and purpose :-) Remember that there is only one of you, just like how important physical health is, mental health is JUST AS important!
6)Don't bitch about your parent(s) on social media. Yea I know we've all been there, in the heat of fury we often lash out on social media. I myself am guilty of it. But have you ever thought what others may think? Your words are a representation of the person you are. When you scroll through your twitter account days later and read those tweets you tweeted in the heat of the moment, you will only feel embarrassed for yourself. If you really do need to rant, rant to a friend, someone who is able to emphatise. There is nothing to be embarrassed of, it's normal, trust me.
7)Your secondary school years aren't the best years of your life. But I can assure you that you will meet a lot of people who you know you will be seeing a lot in the future. You will even find some of your best friends during this phase of your life. The best years of your life will be when you're doing what you love, chasing your dreams and living the life you imagined for yourself. Also, study for your O levels, please. Consistency is key. You get a freaking 6 month holiday after your Os, you have ALL the time to watch the dramas you want, play all the games you want to and eat at all the places you want to. But for now, just put in all that you have got, study your ass off. Your future self will thank you. And oh, stop ranting about the education system on social media, doing that won't get you an A. Spend that time studying instead. Also, on the last day of school, when you graduate, wreck shit and create havoc, that's the only chance you have.
8)Spend time with your mum. Go out on dates with her, talk to her about things you initially thought you never would. It may seem a little silly, at our age especially, but hey! she's your mother, the only person who knows you better than you yourself do. Your mother loves you, even despite you consistently hurting her, be it unintentionally or intentionally! My own mum and I share a very tight bond, even tho we quarrel over little petty stuff, I know she will never hold a grudge against me, and if she does display anger on me, it is because she wants me to be a better person. Devote some time from your day just so you can talk to her, tell her how school went, or what your day was like. She'll enjoy hearing it :-) And if you don't have a motherly figure in your life, do any of the previously mentioned with a person who you know cares for you <3
9)Don't be preachy. I have nothing against religion, but I'll tell you what I am against, people who push religion down someone's throat. We all have our own beliefs, whether we were born into it or if it was by choice. Sure, you may have great pride in your religion, and I think that's alright, but you are crossing the line when you start to police someone's actions and regard it as going against your religion. Heck, you do you. If you want to believe that there is a greater power, by all means, you are entitled to it. But leave someone alone just because they don't have the same opinion. There's this quote actually.. "Religion is like a penis, It's fine to have to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And please, don't try to shove it down my child's throat. (or in this context, anyone's throat)"
I was born into a Hindu family but my family practices the Kiranti religion (google it!), and since I was brought up in Singapore, I didn't have much knowledge on it due to the lack of awareness, so I guess I could say I'm not a very religious person, tho I do respect every religion and it's beliefs. And even despite me not being uber religious, I think I turned out alright?? I mean yea my laughter is obnoxious and I like watching children cry, but I can assure you that my thoughts are pure and my heart is kind. Religion doesn't define a person :-)
(I hope I didn't offend anyone with this point, I had no such intention!)
10)Love whoever you want, gdi. This may seem like I'm contradicting point 1, but I'm not! If you find yourself being part of the LGBTQ family, it is, completely!! fine!!
A person is born homosexual, it isn't something that can be nurtured, contrary to popular opinion. In fact, it is backed up by science. Homosexuality is natural, and it can't be nurtured. Like heck, do you think someone goes "Today I'm gonna be straight. FOOTBALL,"(sorry for the stereotype) or "Today I'm gonna be gay. CUTE BOYS."
OH My GOD THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!! I'll tell you what can be nurtured tho, homophobia. A person doesn't have a choice when it comes to gender preference, but they most definitely do have a choice on being a judgemental little cunt. Or, if your religion doesn't allow it and you don't wanna go against your religion by supporting it, that is fine. But remember to stay neutral. HOMOPHOBIA IS LITERALLY SO STUPID, like bitch, you're telling me you have a phobia of gay people? They are literally like you and I, human. Someone who deserves equal humanitarian rights, just like any of us. Remember guys, #LoveWins !!!
Sigh, that's about it for tonight, this blogpost took me a long while but I hope I was able to make an impression, or maybe even ignite change :-) If you are against any of my points, feel free to leave constructive criticism on my ask.fm! (ask.fm/purrger)
and once again, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I am sorry.
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
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