Hey hey!! Sorry I've delayed my blog update, just been really busy with all that's happening. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to compose a blog post but heeeeere I am now :-)
Anyways I'm home for the weekend and I don't wanna go back to college *unnecessarily long groan*
Over the past 2 months, I've realised two things :-
1)College makes me depressed.
2)The thought of college depresses me even more.
I just miss Secondary School and all my friends back in Singapore so much, *sobs*. It's funny because I used to think O levels were the toughest obstacle I would ever overcome, but wey hey, A levels.
Anyways, all that aside, I will be blogging about something that has always been a significant problem in my life, self love. Just a disclaimer tho, I don't expect anyone to start loving themselves immediately after having read this post, this is just my opinion and what I have to say regarding the matter :)
This is such a large topic, I don't even know where to begin!! Hmmmm let's see. Right.
Self love is something that happens gradually, it doesn't happen overnight. Tell yourself you're worth it every morning the minute you wake up and soon enough you'll believe it, I promise. You're worth all the gems in the world, flowers smile when you walk by and the winds whisper of your beauty :)
We all struggle with issues regarding our appearances, I too am guilty of constantly finding myself in the dark company of self doubt. But, I slowly have managed to convince myself that I am worthy of love and all things happy, just like anyone else is. It took me a long while to get here but my morale is somehow always broken down by people who say things like "You would be so pretty if you lost weight" or "Why don't you want to lose weight"
NEWS FLASH: ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
It really irks me to know that people are so constrained by societal expectations that they don't even bother to glance again at things and give it a second thought. I am not defined by what you think of me, I never will be. We are all sculpted differently and just because our appearances don't coincide with society's perception of beauty, doesn't make us any less worthy or beautiful.
Everyone has their own perceptions of beauty and that's not a crime, it's simply having a 'type', but I need to reiterate that what others think of you/expect you to be doesn't define you. Personally speaking, I've managed to convince myself I'm beautiful, this took me a lot of conviction but heck, I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life, no point holding a grudge against myself for being ugly!! However, with that being said, there are also days when I can't bring myself to look at my reflection because I hate what I see, almost making me want to break every mirror in sight. But, if you can't love your own appearance, how do you expect others to?
As the saying goes, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line."
-Lucille Ball.
And even if others can't/don't see the beauty you possess, it's completely fine because you can fall back on the self love you have managed to grain for yourself. Remember, being worthy? :)
And honestly, think about it, there is literally only one of you out there, sure there are people who may share similar features but ultimately, there is only one You, the one with a beautiful soul and a very unique chain of thoughts, Like I said previously, we are all sculpted differently; we're all special in our own ways, so don't you dare think for a second that you're insignificant or think that you aren't worthy of love, We all are worthy. I can't reiterate this enough, just because there are people who are more aesthetically inclined out there, it doesn't falter our worthiness (well unless you're a serial killer, rapist or a Dictator committing genocide by the masses... in that case, screw you) (what are the odds, though?). With that being said, I need to get this message across, stop romanticising being skinny. In fact, stop romanticising any body shapes. Calling out someone for being fat is the same thing as calling someone out for being skinny. You're merely describing their body type. Happiness isn't size specific, there's no saying out there that once you reach a certain weight, will you then attain eternal happiness. Remember, there is no wrong way to have a body, love your body for the things it can do not scrutinise it for the things that you don't want present; flaws are inevitable. However, if someone uses your body type against you to bring you down, please don't hesitate to punch them... or shut them out (the former is the better idea, no doubt) but in all honesty, you don't need this kind of negativity!! Someone out there will always be better, so don't take it upon yourself to make sure you fulfill all aspects of a 'perfect human being'. As cliche as it sounds, nobody is perfect.
And not just body types; having scars, cellulite and stretch marks are things that are way beyond your control and something that's inevitable/natural!! You don't have to torment and blame yourself for it being on your body because I assure you, it is completely normal and fine to have these battle scars. Take pride in your body, love your body, so that nobody can use it against you. The main reason why self love is so darn important is because it teaches you that at the end of the day, we're all dying alone (heck). You can't take someone to your grave just because you want to hear them sing praises of you. Sing your own praises, smile at the mirror, tell yourself you look amazing. You only have you, for all of your life. The bitter truth is that everyone else is temporary. Only when you learn to depend on yourself for reassurance of your outer appearance, will you then realise why self love is important. You have you, just you. Don't sit back and wait for someone to tell you that the skirt you're wearing really brings out your skin tone, or that, the eyeshadow you've got on really enhances your eyes. Start noticing little details about yourself and revel at how they beautifully add up to make you, you. You're a diamond in the rough that just needs a little polishing from within, only then will you see how exuberant and luminous your beauty is, be it from within or from your outer appearance.
I'd like to end this with a quote I came across on the internet.
""To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven." You live with yourself day in and day out for your entire life. Can you make being in your own skin a joy rather than misery? You can if you focus on living in the moment and enjoy all the good things your body has to offer, rather than worrying about it's imperfections."
Like I said, I didn't come here with the intention of getting people to immediately start loving themselves, but I do hope this short blog post based on my opinions of self love has sparked something within you, be it one that's big or small. :) Self love is a gradual and long process, but one that is definitely worth it. All the best for whatever life throws towards your direction, I believe you'll overcome it :+)
That's about it for this blog post, thank you for having taken the time to read it!! Hope you have a beautiful glorious day ahead <3 Also if you have any feedback/problem/recommendatiins regarding my post, feel free to leave me an ask on my ask.fm, ask.fm/purrger :)
