Hey hey!! Sorry I've delayed my blog update, just been really busy with all that's happening. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to compose a blog post but heeeeere I am now :-)
Anyways I'm home for the weekend and I don't wanna go back to college *unnecessarily long groan*
Over the past 2 months, I've realised two things :-
1)College makes me depressed.
2)The thought of college depresses me even more.
I just miss Secondary School and all my friends back in Singapore so much, *sobs*. It's funny because I used to think O levels were the toughest obstacle I would ever overcome, but wey hey, A levels.
Anyways, all that aside, I will be blogging about something that has always been a significant problem in my life, self love. Just a disclaimer tho, I don't expect anyone to start loving themselves immediately after having read this post, this is just my opinion and what I have to say regarding the matter :)
This is such a large topic, I don't even know where to begin!! Hmmmm let's see. Right.
Self love is something that happens gradually, it doesn't happen overnight. Tell yourself you're worth it every morning the minute you wake up and soon enough you'll believe it, I promise. You're worth all the gems in the world, flowers smile when you walk by and the winds whisper of your beauty :)
We all struggle with issues regarding our appearances, I too am guilty of constantly finding myself in the dark company of self doubt. But, I slowly have managed to convince myself that I am worthy of love and all things happy, just like anyone else is. It took me a long while to get here but my morale is somehow always broken down by people who say things like "You would be so pretty if you lost weight" or "Why don't you want to lose weight"
NEWS FLASH: ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SKINNY TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
It really irks me to know that people are so constrained by societal expectations that they don't even bother to glance again at things and give it a second thought. I am not defined by what you think of me, I never will be. We are all sculpted differently and just because our appearances don't coincide with society's perception of beauty, doesn't make us any less worthy or beautiful.
Everyone has their own perceptions of beauty and that's not a crime, it's simply having a 'type', but I need to reiterate that what others think of you/expect you to be doesn't define you. Personally speaking, I've managed to convince myself I'm beautiful, this took me a lot of conviction but heck, I'm stuck with this face for the rest of my life, no point holding a grudge against myself for being ugly!! However, with that being said, there are also days when I can't bring myself to look at my reflection because I hate what I see, almost making me want to break every mirror in sight. But, if you can't love your own appearance, how do you expect others to?
As the saying goes, "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line."
-Lucille Ball.
And even if others can't/don't see the beauty you possess, it's completely fine because you can fall back on the self love you have managed to grain for yourself. Remember, being worthy? :)
And honestly, think about it, there is literally only one of you out there, sure there are people who may share similar features but ultimately, there is only one You, the one with a beautiful soul and a very unique chain of thoughts, Like I said previously, we are all sculpted differently; we're all special in our own ways, so don't you dare think for a second that you're insignificant or think that you aren't worthy of love, We all are worthy. I can't reiterate this enough, just because there are people who are more aesthetically inclined out there, it doesn't falter our worthiness (well unless you're a serial killer, rapist or a Dictator committing genocide by the masses... in that case, screw you) (what are the odds, though?). With that being said, I need to get this message across, stop romanticising being skinny. In fact, stop romanticising any body shapes. Calling out someone for being fat is the same thing as calling someone out for being skinny. You're merely describing their body type. Happiness isn't size specific, there's no saying out there that once you reach a certain weight, will you then attain eternal happiness. Remember, there is no wrong way to have a body, love your body for the things it can do not scrutinise it for the things that you don't want present; flaws are inevitable. However, if someone uses your body type against you to bring you down, please don't hesitate to punch them... or shut them out (the former is the better idea, no doubt) but in all honesty, you don't need this kind of negativity!! Someone out there will always be better, so don't take it upon yourself to make sure you fulfill all aspects of a 'perfect human being'. As cliche as it sounds, nobody is perfect.
And not just body types; having scars, cellulite and stretch marks are things that are way beyond your control and something that's inevitable/natural!! You don't have to torment and blame yourself for it being on your body because I assure you, it is completely normal and fine to have these battle scars. Take pride in your body, love your body, so that nobody can use it against you. The main reason why self love is so darn important is because it teaches you that at the end of the day, we're all dying alone (heck). You can't take someone to your grave just because you want to hear them sing praises of you. Sing your own praises, smile at the mirror, tell yourself you look amazing. You only have you, for all of your life. The bitter truth is that everyone else is temporary. Only when you learn to depend on yourself for reassurance of your outer appearance, will you then realise why self love is important. You have you, just you. Don't sit back and wait for someone to tell you that the skirt you're wearing really brings out your skin tone, or that, the eyeshadow you've got on really enhances your eyes. Start noticing little details about yourself and revel at how they beautifully add up to make you, you. You're a diamond in the rough that just needs a little polishing from within, only then will you see how exuberant and luminous your beauty is, be it from within or from your outer appearance.
I'd like to end this with a quote I came across on the internet.
""To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven." You live with yourself day in and day out for your entire life. Can you make being in your own skin a joy rather than misery? You can if you focus on living in the moment and enjoy all the good things your body has to offer, rather than worrying about it's imperfections."
Like I said, I didn't come here with the intention of getting people to immediately start loving themselves, but I do hope this short blog post based on my opinions of self love has sparked something within you, be it one that's big or small. :) Self love is a gradual and long process, but one that is definitely worth it. All the best for whatever life throws towards your direction, I believe you'll overcome it :+)
That's about it for this blog post, thank you for having taken the time to read it!! Hope you have a beautiful glorious day ahead <3 Also if you have any feedback/problem/recommendatiins regarding my post, feel free to leave me an ask on my ask.fm, ask.fm/purrger :)
Saturday 1 August 2015
Saturday 27 June 2015
✧*。heart to heart talks / Growing up ✧*。
Hello!! I've neglected my blog for way too long, commitment issues :-(
A lot of things have happened in my life, but I wanna talk about some rather important topics that I think I need to reiterate, and get the message out there. I know I'm not a famous blogger and my blog trafficking isn't even high to begin with, but for those of you reading this.. I hope I can be of some help :+)
Oh and... and a shit ton of things has happened in my life, thought I'd mention it;
-Survived two frikkin earthquakes, this honestly made me realise how precious my life is, Not that I didn't value my life before this, but I guess I took it for granted, didn't realise how lucky I am to be waking up everyday to food on my plate, a roof over my head and people I can rely on. So much more to life... so many places to travel to, people to meet, cultures to experience! Life is so, precious.
-I started college! College girl hahah, beats me really. I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to slack like how I did in Secondary School (tho i gotta admit, I had a great time, well not my lower sec years but my upper sec years were GLORIOUS) So, yes, hopefully my effort is consistent and it can be seen in my A level results, I really want to get my ass in a reputable college into a course I am passionate about :-)
-I turned 17! I hate birthdays.
Okay yea, back to the main purpose of this blogpost. Turning 17, I realised that with every passing year, I learn a few things that will go a long way, to mould me into the person I'm meant to be.
Here are 10 things I learnt when I turned 17 (I was actually inspired by a tumblr post but hear me out anyway)
1)Stop romanticising love. It can wait. You will meet the person you are gonna spend the rest of your life with in time to come, there is absoloutely no need to rush it. Don't get into a relationship with someone just because you like them, ask yourself, is this person the one who will be supporting me when I have no one to turn to, who will share every joy and celebrate with me, tell me off when I'm acting rashly. A healthy relationship is one where both of you learn from previous mistakes, and work on it, one where you work with mutual trust and understanding. If at any point, you feel like you're in a relationship where you're consistently being hurt, leave. Trust me on this, if he/she has done it once, they're very well able to do it again. You have your rights to happiness, and if that person fails to make you happy, what's the point of holding onto it when it only hurts you? Be with someone who complements you, someone who makes you a better person, both emotionally and spiritually.
Give it time, don't rush things.
2)Train your mind to see the good in every situation. Often enough we find ourselves lacking in certain aspects, yes we all have those days and.. it is completely fine! I just want you to remember that all of us have a purpose. Put your hand over your heart, feel that? That's purpose. You are alive and able. Think of things you are blessed with, not what you have yet to receive. Today you are alive, have food on your plate and a roof over your head. There are people out there who aren't even lucky enough to have that and yet they live, because they train their mind to see the good in every situation. I myself am guilty for taking those privileges for granted, but only when you realise the importance of it, is when you truly realise its worth. Like they say, after every hurricane, there comes a rainbow.
And, every cloud has its silver lining. Have faith in what destiny has in store for you.
3)Don't ask a person why he/she is depressed. That is just downright offensive. And you can't tell someone to "snap out" of their depression. Things don't work that way. Recovery is a long process and it doesn't happen overnight. If you want to help a friend who is undergoing depression, be there with them every step of the way. Check on them consistently, if they need to talk to someone, hear them out, that episode of OITNB can wait. It won't ease their discomfort completely but it will reassure them that someone is willing to listen. Environment is everything, make them laugh till their stomach aches, be 'that' person; make them want to get out of the bed every morning and conquer the day :-) Commend them for getting out of bed, commend them for the steps they take towards recovery, even if they are small baby steps. Things never actually get better, in fact, you do, as a person.
4)Friends who give you feedback, keep them. We all have that one friend that does crazy absurd shit which bothers people. Most of the time, their actions are unintended and they probably don't even realise that people are being affected in the process. Tell them they need to stop, how they can work on the problem or how they can change. Remember that most of the time, it is unintended and they have absoloutely no idea they're hurting people, but when you tell them otherwise, you are allowing the person a chance to work on things they unintentionally broke. (idk if broke is an appropriate word, i hope u get my drift) If they are willing to take the feedback and work on becoming a better person, good on them! Good on you for taking the courage for telling them so! It can be hard, I understand. But if they are unable to see their faults and only want to pity themselves for being seen in a negative manner, leave them, They aren't worth it. They will learn things the hard way.
Also, if you encounter people who give *you* feedback, realise they're honest, which is a commendable quality, one every friend should have. Cherish that person, your future self will thank you.
5)Eat that damn cake. It is alright to indulge once in a while, so long as you're giving yourself balance. You scored full marks for that test? Gdi, treat yourself!! You deserve it. Don't tax yourself too much, it's completely fine to let go once in a while, just, remember your roots and purpose :-) Remember that there is only one of you, just like how important physical health is, mental health is JUST AS important!
6)Don't bitch about your parent(s) on social media. Yea I know we've all been there, in the heat of fury we often lash out on social media. I myself am guilty of it. But have you ever thought what others may think? Your words are a representation of the person you are. When you scroll through your twitter account days later and read those tweets you tweeted in the heat of the moment, you will only feel embarrassed for yourself. If you really do need to rant, rant to a friend, someone who is able to emphatise. There is nothing to be embarrassed of, it's normal, trust me.
7)Your secondary school years aren't the best years of your life. But I can assure you that you will meet a lot of people who you know you will be seeing a lot in the future. You will even find some of your best friends during this phase of your life. The best years of your life will be when you're doing what you love, chasing your dreams and living the life you imagined for yourself. Also, study for your O levels, please. Consistency is key. You get a freaking 6 month holiday after your Os, you have ALL the time to watch the dramas you want, play all the games you want to and eat at all the places you want to. But for now, just put in all that you have got, study your ass off. Your future self will thank you. And oh, stop ranting about the education system on social media, doing that won't get you an A. Spend that time studying instead. Also, on the last day of school, when you graduate, wreck shit and create havoc, that's the only chance you have.
8)Spend time with your mum. Go out on dates with her, talk to her about things you initially thought you never would. It may seem a little silly, at our age especially, but hey! she's your mother, the only person who knows you better than you yourself do. Your mother loves you, even despite you consistently hurting her, be it unintentionally or intentionally! My own mum and I share a very tight bond, even tho we quarrel over little petty stuff, I know she will never hold a grudge against me, and if she does display anger on me, it is because she wants me to be a better person. Devote some time from your day just so you can talk to her, tell her how school went, or what your day was like. She'll enjoy hearing it :-) And if you don't have a motherly figure in your life, do any of the previously mentioned with a person who you know cares for you <3
9)Don't be preachy. I have nothing against religion, but I'll tell you what I am against, people who push religion down someone's throat. We all have our own beliefs, whether we were born into it or if it was by choice. Sure, you may have great pride in your religion, and I think that's alright, but you are crossing the line when you start to police someone's actions and regard it as going against your religion. Heck, you do you. If you want to believe that there is a greater power, by all means, you are entitled to it. But leave someone alone just because they don't have the same opinion. There's this quote actually.. "Religion is like a penis, It's fine to have to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And please, don't try to shove it down my child's throat. (or in this context, anyone's throat)"
I was born into a Hindu family but my family practices the Kiranti religion (google it!), and since I was brought up in Singapore, I didn't have much knowledge on it due to the lack of awareness, so I guess I could say I'm not a very religious person, tho I do respect every religion and it's beliefs. And even despite me not being uber religious, I think I turned out alright?? I mean yea my laughter is obnoxious and I like watching children cry, but I can assure you that my thoughts are pure and my heart is kind. Religion doesn't define a person :-)
(I hope I didn't offend anyone with this point, I had no such intention!)
10)Love whoever you want, gdi. This may seem like I'm contradicting point 1, but I'm not! If you find yourself being part of the LGBTQ family, it is, completely!! fine!!
A person is born homosexual, it isn't something that can be nurtured, contrary to popular opinion. In fact, it is backed up by science. Homosexuality is natural, and it can't be nurtured. Like heck, do you think someone goes "Today I'm gonna be straight. FOOTBALL,"(sorry for the stereotype) or "Today I'm gonna be gay. CUTE BOYS."
OH My GOD THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!! I'll tell you what can be nurtured tho, homophobia. A person doesn't have a choice when it comes to gender preference, but they most definitely do have a choice on being a judgemental little cunt. Or, if your religion doesn't allow it and you don't wanna go against your religion by supporting it, that is fine. But remember to stay neutral. HOMOPHOBIA IS LITERALLY SO STUPID, like bitch, you're telling me you have a phobia of gay people? They are literally like you and I, human. Someone who deserves equal humanitarian rights, just like any of us. Remember guys, #LoveWins !!!
Sigh, that's about it for tonight, this blogpost took me a long while but I hope I was able to make an impression, or maybe even ignite change :-) If you are against any of my points, feel free to leave constructive criticism on my ask.fm! (ask.fm/purrger)
and once again, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I am sorry.
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
A lot of things have happened in my life, but I wanna talk about some rather important topics that I think I need to reiterate, and get the message out there. I know I'm not a famous blogger and my blog trafficking isn't even high to begin with, but for those of you reading this.. I hope I can be of some help :+)
Oh and... and a shit ton of things has happened in my life, thought I'd mention it;
-Survived two frikkin earthquakes, this honestly made me realise how precious my life is, Not that I didn't value my life before this, but I guess I took it for granted, didn't realise how lucky I am to be waking up everyday to food on my plate, a roof over my head and people I can rely on. So much more to life... so many places to travel to, people to meet, cultures to experience! Life is so, precious.
-I started college! College girl hahah, beats me really. I promised myself I wouldn't allow myself to slack like how I did in Secondary School (tho i gotta admit, I had a great time, well not my lower sec years but my upper sec years were GLORIOUS) So, yes, hopefully my effort is consistent and it can be seen in my A level results, I really want to get my ass in a reputable college into a course I am passionate about :-)
-I turned 17! I hate birthdays.
Okay yea, back to the main purpose of this blogpost. Turning 17, I realised that with every passing year, I learn a few things that will go a long way, to mould me into the person I'm meant to be.
Here are 10 things I learnt when I turned 17 (I was actually inspired by a tumblr post but hear me out anyway)
1)Stop romanticising love. It can wait. You will meet the person you are gonna spend the rest of your life with in time to come, there is absoloutely no need to rush it. Don't get into a relationship with someone just because you like them, ask yourself, is this person the one who will be supporting me when I have no one to turn to, who will share every joy and celebrate with me, tell me off when I'm acting rashly. A healthy relationship is one where both of you learn from previous mistakes, and work on it, one where you work with mutual trust and understanding. If at any point, you feel like you're in a relationship where you're consistently being hurt, leave. Trust me on this, if he/she has done it once, they're very well able to do it again. You have your rights to happiness, and if that person fails to make you happy, what's the point of holding onto it when it only hurts you? Be with someone who complements you, someone who makes you a better person, both emotionally and spiritually.
Give it time, don't rush things.
2)Train your mind to see the good in every situation. Often enough we find ourselves lacking in certain aspects, yes we all have those days and.. it is completely fine! I just want you to remember that all of us have a purpose. Put your hand over your heart, feel that? That's purpose. You are alive and able. Think of things you are blessed with, not what you have yet to receive. Today you are alive, have food on your plate and a roof over your head. There are people out there who aren't even lucky enough to have that and yet they live, because they train their mind to see the good in every situation. I myself am guilty for taking those privileges for granted, but only when you realise the importance of it, is when you truly realise its worth. Like they say, after every hurricane, there comes a rainbow.
And, every cloud has its silver lining. Have faith in what destiny has in store for you.
3)Don't ask a person why he/she is depressed. That is just downright offensive. And you can't tell someone to "snap out" of their depression. Things don't work that way. Recovery is a long process and it doesn't happen overnight. If you want to help a friend who is undergoing depression, be there with them every step of the way. Check on them consistently, if they need to talk to someone, hear them out, that episode of OITNB can wait. It won't ease their discomfort completely but it will reassure them that someone is willing to listen. Environment is everything, make them laugh till their stomach aches, be 'that' person; make them want to get out of the bed every morning and conquer the day :-) Commend them for getting out of bed, commend them for the steps they take towards recovery, even if they are small baby steps. Things never actually get better, in fact, you do, as a person.
4)Friends who give you feedback, keep them. We all have that one friend that does crazy absurd shit which bothers people. Most of the time, their actions are unintended and they probably don't even realise that people are being affected in the process. Tell them they need to stop, how they can work on the problem or how they can change. Remember that most of the time, it is unintended and they have absoloutely no idea they're hurting people, but when you tell them otherwise, you are allowing the person a chance to work on things they unintentionally broke. (idk if broke is an appropriate word, i hope u get my drift) If they are willing to take the feedback and work on becoming a better person, good on them! Good on you for taking the courage for telling them so! It can be hard, I understand. But if they are unable to see their faults and only want to pity themselves for being seen in a negative manner, leave them, They aren't worth it. They will learn things the hard way.
Also, if you encounter people who give *you* feedback, realise they're honest, which is a commendable quality, one every friend should have. Cherish that person, your future self will thank you.
5)Eat that damn cake. It is alright to indulge once in a while, so long as you're giving yourself balance. You scored full marks for that test? Gdi, treat yourself!! You deserve it. Don't tax yourself too much, it's completely fine to let go once in a while, just, remember your roots and purpose :-) Remember that there is only one of you, just like how important physical health is, mental health is JUST AS important!
6)Don't bitch about your parent(s) on social media. Yea I know we've all been there, in the heat of fury we often lash out on social media. I myself am guilty of it. But have you ever thought what others may think? Your words are a representation of the person you are. When you scroll through your twitter account days later and read those tweets you tweeted in the heat of the moment, you will only feel embarrassed for yourself. If you really do need to rant, rant to a friend, someone who is able to emphatise. There is nothing to be embarrassed of, it's normal, trust me.
7)Your secondary school years aren't the best years of your life. But I can assure you that you will meet a lot of people who you know you will be seeing a lot in the future. You will even find some of your best friends during this phase of your life. The best years of your life will be when you're doing what you love, chasing your dreams and living the life you imagined for yourself. Also, study for your O levels, please. Consistency is key. You get a freaking 6 month holiday after your Os, you have ALL the time to watch the dramas you want, play all the games you want to and eat at all the places you want to. But for now, just put in all that you have got, study your ass off. Your future self will thank you. And oh, stop ranting about the education system on social media, doing that won't get you an A. Spend that time studying instead. Also, on the last day of school, when you graduate, wreck shit and create havoc, that's the only chance you have.
8)Spend time with your mum. Go out on dates with her, talk to her about things you initially thought you never would. It may seem a little silly, at our age especially, but hey! she's your mother, the only person who knows you better than you yourself do. Your mother loves you, even despite you consistently hurting her, be it unintentionally or intentionally! My own mum and I share a very tight bond, even tho we quarrel over little petty stuff, I know she will never hold a grudge against me, and if she does display anger on me, it is because she wants me to be a better person. Devote some time from your day just so you can talk to her, tell her how school went, or what your day was like. She'll enjoy hearing it :-) And if you don't have a motherly figure in your life, do any of the previously mentioned with a person who you know cares for you <3
9)Don't be preachy. I have nothing against religion, but I'll tell you what I am against, people who push religion down someone's throat. We all have our own beliefs, whether we were born into it or if it was by choice. Sure, you may have great pride in your religion, and I think that's alright, but you are crossing the line when you start to police someone's actions and regard it as going against your religion. Heck, you do you. If you want to believe that there is a greater power, by all means, you are entitled to it. But leave someone alone just because they don't have the same opinion. There's this quote actually.. "Religion is like a penis, It's fine to have to have one and it's fine to be proud of it, but please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around. And please, don't try to shove it down my child's throat. (or in this context, anyone's throat)"
I was born into a Hindu family but my family practices the Kiranti religion (google it!), and since I was brought up in Singapore, I didn't have much knowledge on it due to the lack of awareness, so I guess I could say I'm not a very religious person, tho I do respect every religion and it's beliefs. And even despite me not being uber religious, I think I turned out alright?? I mean yea my laughter is obnoxious and I like watching children cry, but I can assure you that my thoughts are pure and my heart is kind. Religion doesn't define a person :-)
(I hope I didn't offend anyone with this point, I had no such intention!)
10)Love whoever you want, gdi. This may seem like I'm contradicting point 1, but I'm not! If you find yourself being part of the LGBTQ family, it is, completely!! fine!!
A person is born homosexual, it isn't something that can be nurtured, contrary to popular opinion. In fact, it is backed up by science. Homosexuality is natural, and it can't be nurtured. Like heck, do you think someone goes "Today I'm gonna be straight. FOOTBALL,"(sorry for the stereotype) or "Today I'm gonna be gay. CUTE BOYS."
OH My GOD THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!! I'll tell you what can be nurtured tho, homophobia. A person doesn't have a choice when it comes to gender preference, but they most definitely do have a choice on being a judgemental little cunt. Or, if your religion doesn't allow it and you don't wanna go against your religion by supporting it, that is fine. But remember to stay neutral. HOMOPHOBIA IS LITERALLY SO STUPID, like bitch, you're telling me you have a phobia of gay people? They are literally like you and I, human. Someone who deserves equal humanitarian rights, just like any of us. Remember guys, #LoveWins !!!
Sigh, that's about it for tonight, this blogpost took me a long while but I hope I was able to make an impression, or maybe even ignite change :-) If you are against any of my points, feel free to leave constructive criticism on my ask.fm! (ask.fm/purrger)
and once again, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and if I did, I am sorry.
Hope you liked it!
xo, jyoti.
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